20th Nov '06

Heyy. First time blogging heh! Feels, familliar yet not. :)

Anyway, I decided to start blogging simply because I want to do it and record things that happened or memorable down. Recording part of my life story. :)

Sad thing is the first post normally would be a happy one but instead I guess it's the Lord's will for me to take a challenge up. To lead a fellow sheep back into the herd where he belongs to and I guess I have failed. Not only that but leaving myself confused into the matter and the challenge.

From the 'Fulfillment of the Law', I have broken one of them.

I quote, from someone that I love and the teacher that I truly respected: " Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes' and your 'No' be 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."

Then I have broken it for I had betrayed the word that came from my mouth and told a secret that ought to be kept.

For this, I do not know if I am in the wrong for doing it or not. For not having a fellow sheep that strayed away from the herd, I did not manage to lead him back but instead I have widened the gap.

Lying my way never seemed difficult for the past 17 years, but instead today from the same mouth that gave laughter and as well as words of comfort and confidence came out deceive and lies. I denied knowing the truth when I did. Changing of topics and excuses to cover up myself from the truth, I commited it all. Then I guess I would be a hypocrite, a backstabber, a betrayer of trust. For only a profession of those would not admit the truth and bring it to light. If truly I wanted to help, wouldn't those words of air be of no need? If I truly wish to help, woudn't I have confessed and told the truth to him? What was I afraid of? Today, God made me realise how painful is it to lie again.

Given a chance, would I still do the same thing? I ponder...

The Lord once told a parable of the sheep. When a sheep got lost and went away, the one tending the herd would abandoned the remaining sheep and search for the lost one. When he found the sheep, he went to the neighbours and said with joy:" Let us rejoice! For I have found the sheep that went away!" Eventually he brought back the sheep to the herd.

What I did, was I in the wrong? Or I was right doing it? I do not know...

I pray for forgiveness as well as enlightenment of the sheep that decided to stray away. God bless, Amen.